I was sitting in the park eating my brown rice, salmon and avocado sushi when it occurred to me the last time I had thought about my Ex Boyfriend. Now don’t get me wrong, you wont find me thinking about my past boyfriend all the time. But I can’t straight out lie and say I never think of him. So there I was, ‘enjoying’ Auckland’s heat (which is just humidity on steroids) and I caught myself deep within thought about how that damn boy is. What would he be doing on a Friday afternoon and where he was with his life plans. What one should note is that my Ex and I don’t talk. We aren’t friends on Facebook and I am 99% certain he blocked me on instagram. (Took that to heart way more than I should of). But for you to understand where we both are in our lives and for this to add up to something then you need some background information. There will be those of you who know who I am talking about and in no way is this to shame or hurt him. Just understand this:
- We were together for a year and a half.
- We lived 504km apart and felt every single bit of distance.
- We saw each other face to face every three months.
- We were both very busy people.
- We broke up because we were on different paths.
He was/is the most amazing guy. I hold no bitterness towards him and do wish him the best in life. I am not angry nor do I get upset at him for not wanting to have a friendship. I do wish he would just let me know that he is okay. Wishful thinking right? But out of the ashes this is what he has taught me:
- There is not enough hours in the day. No matter how much you time manage.
- Distance is no excuse not to have a relationship.
- Communication is key. If its a call, text, letter, skype, facebook just send it.
- Sometimes you have to be the grown up in the situation. And sometimes that sucks.
- Go out for dinner. Don’t stop courting one another. Dress up and be nervous like that first date.
- Be sure you know who you are before the relationship. Its who you are at the end of it all.
- Be open. With the past, with ideas, with resolutions, with help.
- Keep going. Don’t stop because it gets a bit hard.
- Pancakes can be eaten at any time of the day.
- People do genuinely care.
Reflecting on my past relationship I remind myself that these lessons were taught to me during the partnership and when it came apart seam by seam. What we had was amazing but it wouldn’t of lasted a life time because we were both very strong people with big life goals. It was just that these goals were on a trajectory heading further and further away from one another.
Now, like I said we don’t talk. There are certain days were he will be on my mind because of reason I don’t wish to disclose. I do offer an olive branch on these days not hoping for a friendship, but as a gentle reminder that I am still here to talk. We were best friends at the end of it all.
So where does this leave us now? From what I know (I keep an ear close to the ground) my Ex Boyfriend is busy, healthy and with that I would assume happy. So thats where I will leave it. Take what you want from your past relationship and turn it into lessons for life. Otherwise it was a waste. And we don’t want that do we?