All my friends are engaged, married or pregnant and I am over here trying to poach an egg.

For all of you who are not engaged, married, or pregnant. Trying to adult. You are not alone.

Just so you know, this isn’t my poached eggs. Stolen from the internet. Food porn.

So I rolled out of the hospital last week after three nights surrounded by 3 ladies drugged up just like me. I came home with discharge notes, medical certificate and a prescription. As soon as I got home I realised in my haste to get out of there (I don’t like hospitals) I had left my teddy there. Yes laugh, my teddy. His name is teddy and he has been with me since I was born. Knitted when I was still in the womb he means a lot to me. Jamie brought it up to me on day two of the hotel from hell to soothe me through morphine doses with a dash of tramadol. So I had to be an adult, ring the hospital and ask them to find my teddy.

Hospital 1, Seren 0.

Now I am 20… 21 is October. Young, sassy and still growing. I was scrolling through my Facebook when another one of my friends was now pregnant.

Thoughts?

1. No.
2. Yep.
3. 13 weeks.
4. January.
5. No drinking for you.
6. Do we have cider in the fridge still?
7. No alcohol for two weeks. Doctors notes.
8. A tiny human.
9. ALIEN.
10. Baby tracker is kinda gross.
11. Babies.
12. Why?
13. OH SHES ENGAGED TOO.
14. What?
15. When?
16. Scans Facebook profile.
17. TO HIM?
18. No.
19. Yep.
20. Wow.
21. We went to primary school together.
22. I thought I was on track.
23. What is life?
24. What am I doing?
25. Should I be worried?
26. Yes.
27. You are well behind.
28. I don’t want kids for a long time though.
29. I am 20.
30. Biological clock though?
31. IM TWENTY.
32. Lots of time.
33. 15 more years at least.
34. I still haven’t seen most of the Disney movies.
35. I am still a child.
36. No young adult.
37. I couldn’t handle a poop machine yet.
38. Adult, that I am.
39. I lost my teddy.
40. Not even close to taking care of another human.
41. I want a cat.
42. Yep.
43. Kitty.
44. Could I get a cat in my apartment.
45. No.
46. Random cat flap that goes out to nowhere just 6 floors down.
47. Right.
48. Okay.
49. F**k.

*scrolls newsfeed more*

1. ARE YOU F**KING SERIOUS.
2. YOU ARE MARRIED TOO?
3. YOU WERE JUST ENGAGED
4. THAT WAS A SHOCK.
5. Cute dress.
6. Only one photo for me to cry at?
7. Why?
8. You are my age and married.
9. Have you seen the world?
10. Who is he?
11. Oh yes.
12. He was with your friend for a while.
13. Never liked him.
14. Good luck.
15. No I am being sincere.
16. Adult Seren.
17. SH*T, GOD DAMMIT.
18. Why?
19. Where are you going?
20. What is your life plan?
21. Do I need to be engaged?
22. No.
23. HA.
24. No.
25. Thank you.
26. *Hisses at screen*
27. Should I save for a house?
28. I haven’t left NZ yet.
29. Need to finish my degree.
30. Oh lord.
31. I am not at uni next year.
32. Out and about.
33. LIVING.
34. Thats okay.
35. How do you adult.
36. I can do it.
37. I am doing it.
38. Eggs.
39. Poached.
40. How?
41. Googles how to….poach eggs.
42. Heck yeah I can do this.
43. Poaching like a boss.
44. TO THE KITCHEN AND BEYOND!

*quietly sings to self about not being married, engaged or pregnant. With a dash of freedom*

Just saying I can poach eggs. They were delicious. Two of them.

I have so many questions. Why is everyone engaged, married or up the duff? This is the new normal. There seems to be a wave of people I know who are advancing and ticking of the appropriate adult things. I mean my ex is now married to a girl 6 months older than me. When I found out he was engaged to be. I laughed and almost made a t-shirt saying “dodged a bullet”. Almost. But now he is apart of the normal and I am over here eating avocado and eggs on toast trying not to get it on my white shirt.

Truth of the matter is growing up so quickly freaks me the f**k out. Bills, food shopping, cleaning and maintaining the life I have with my significant other is stressful enough. Throw in University, work and the fact that our elevator is not working again makes me anxious. Just so you know, I now own a blazer, blouse and two sets of dress pants. TWO. I also have business cards. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM A 20 YEAR OLD?