The Flatmates from Hell – PT 1

The end of October 2015 Jamie and I had finished our lease in Auckland City and were ready to escape to the suburbs. A couple looking for a room is no easy feat but we stumbled on a house that was beautiful. Though it had a crazy bedroom.

Faced with a flat viewing we made ourselves look normal and we had planned to go out for dinner in Ponsonby after. We walked up the steps to 46 Norfolk Street on a rainy Friday evening to be greeted by a couple who were rather friendly.

They showed us around the house. The house was a new lease and it was empty. For a villa is was stunning. Wooden floors, huge living area, great backyard and the bathroom. So big I could choreograph a show in there. It was a perfect find.

The couple (who have asked not to be named) we can call them A & B*. They had been together for a while. They both have degrees and liked cats.

Jamie and I thought they were just a great match for us. Arts to arts. Games to games. This was going to be fantastic. Smart, kind people. We moved in mid October, the week of my birthday. We were told that a girl who was 19 would be moving in next week and for this post we shall name her Emma*.

Monday rolled around and we moved in with help from our friends, taking multiple trips to get out of a tiny apartment. I was at the end of my degree and was in show week. Between the theatre, work , rehearsals and day to day life we moved in and it was going great.

My birthday dinner came about and we went out into the city, drinks and laughter ensued. The new flat mates had brought me a card and a bottle of rose even though they barely knew me. These people we so kind and this was going to be great.

Jamie returned that evening to a police car in the drive and two police officers in our house ‘A’ was crying in the living room and  ‘B’ was locked in his room. He had called the police on her. Female assaults male. A domestic violence call in New Zealand is not taken lightly.  Jamie who aspires to be a policeman knew that this was no small incident. He listened to ‘A’ give her report of events.

She had been taking a shower, come back into the room and asked ‘B’ to get off the bed so she could make it and go to sleep as she had work in the morning. He refused saying it is his bed and that he can do as he pleases. So she went to take his computer  (which is a worth close to $10,000, this guy spent all his money on it) off her desk because it is hers and she can do as she pleases with it. That included having it with no computer on it. He freaked out. Yelled at her. She resisted physically and he picked her up in her towel and tried putting her in the hallway. She punched him in the head because she was now naked and didn’t want her new flat mates seeing her naked.

She was banned from the house for 24 hours notice as protocol by the police. We had coffee with her. I said she should leave him. (Clearly, I don’t take shit from no one). She said they had fights before but he had never called the police before.

24 hours later, they wouldn’t apologize to one another and we were now witnessing World War Three.

This is week one.

*Name changed for confidentiality


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A pretty sassy 25-year-old​ living in New Zealand.

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