The 5 Sex Lessons They Don’t Teach You In High School.

So the saga continues.

Lets get in it balls deep. (My jokes are in no way ever going to be funny. We already know this but I will write them out any way cause I am a sassy gal)

Picture theses situations:

1. Talking with a boy about sex. He says “so are you on the pill?” you say “no” and then there is this awkward tension because he hasn’t put two dots together and assumes that the pill is the only contraception. I HAVE HAD THIS SITUATION. Also had the awkward explaining that it (an IUD) looks like a fish hook but is inside me. IN NO TONE CAN YOU MAKE THIS SOUND APPEALING. If your man doesn’t know that there is other contraception out there other than the pill and a condom you should just highlight this moment. Possibly move him along.
2. If you are about to have sex and your man say “do I have to” in regards to wearing a condom. GET UP. Do not say a word and leave. Close the door and delete his number. Yall think I am joking really Im not. Also on this same point you should not have to ask for him to wear a condom. Because the situation of you staring at him and then his dick whilst he takes his 45 second break to do the one thing he HAS to do. Real romantic. There is no if’s or but’s round this one. Goes for both girls and guys.
3. You should be getting an STI check after every sexual partner. BOTH OF YOU. You should have a conversation about when you had one last and it should not be judgemental. It also gives you both peace of mind. If they have never had one, you should highly recommend that they do.
4. You should also have a conversation about what is okay and what isn’t in terms of in the bedroom or outside. You don’t know. This can be as straight forward as a checklist. (There is lots online) Or a game of 40 questions. Know your boundaries and others. You might discover that you both like something but are a little too shy to say.
5. Your sex life should also be private. No one wants to walk in on their significant other talking about your intimate details to other people you don’t know. “She loves it from behind.” *walks in, opens front door* “you can let yourself out.”

These are some of the situations in which you should take action or act upon. What I am trying to say is teach each other many things, maybe it is how to talk about sex or that their behaviour is unacceptable.

Next week we will continue on talking about this stunning topic of sex. Let me know if there is anything you really want me to address and write about. Short and sweet on your Friday night.

You don’t even know.

Today is Tuesday. It is also day two of the first week of uni. Auckland University thinks its a great idea to start so late. I mean its March. You know the third month into the year. But hey we do things differently way up here.

I would like to apologize for not having any recent blog posts. I have been rather blah. And I have been sorting my life out. Plus working. Being short staffed is not a fun time. I can tell you that now. I think I still need to sleep for a month to catch up.

I feel like just chatting to you all as I sit here on the couch. So, how are you? Are you well? (Like you can talk to me) Shall we discuss some things that have pissed me off lately. Shall we list them. I like doing that.

1. People who don’t understand how lucky their situation is. Being the most basic of basic bitches. Please complain, thats what I wanted on my first day of university. A giant black cloud pouring out with rain. Take your weather elsewhere.
2. Swollen glands. Mate, bain of my life. Can I not sound like a man. thank you.
3. Heat. Humidity. Dammit Auckland. STAAAAAPH.
4. People who do not smell themselves being entering into public. Yo, if I can smell you after you have been in an area. Go and deal with yourself. No one finds it sexy. Not in the slightest.

Is anyone else having trouble sleeping? Or are you all counting your sheep? Do you know what is scary is that I turn 21 this year. Jessica in my class said this “20 is such an ugly age”. And now that I think about it. I fully agree. Like what is 20? Icky. What’s worse that 20? Being 20 and engaged. Or married. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? If your news feed is anything like mine, full of babies and marriage. Last night a girl popped on my news feed, now engaged. She was born in 1996. 1996 people. SHES TURNING 19. When I was 18 I had to deal with study link. Not dimond rings. Each to their own. Just not in my 5 year plan. NO ONE GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE, YA HEAR?

You want to know an honest thoughts? I am just going to tell you anyway because you can’t say no. I have no idea what I am writing. Really its all word vomit and you are still reading. Congratulation friend. I really want a terrarium and some flowers. Lillys to sit in my bedroom and smell lovely. I am rather pissed off with one of my friends. Have been for a few months. The guy at the gym judged me for only working out for 30 mins. He doesn’t know I have a major back injury or study dance. He now sees me and comments on how long I work out for.  My mum who reads this blog. (Hey Jenny.) Told me that I missed the boat on my career and thinks I should do this all the time. Writing blogs. I thought with a debt owing to the government I could do both.

Its my last year of University and I am really not sure on whether or not I will do postgraduate studies. I could do my honors. Just a year and be done with it? I don’t know anything anymore. So watch this space.

Will it last you a life time?

The Human Body

I went looking for an ideal body to work towards. I scrolled through Tumblr, Instagram and a few other places and as I was scrolling I thought to myself that these girls were stunning, truly they had worked for their bodies. Now I know that I have a good body but what girl doesn’t want to be a goddess. When I was naively looking I wasn’t searching for envy or “thin-spriation” just some motivation and what I feel I could get.

I got bored and rolled through my news feed and what I saw made me laugh to myself. We will get back to why this made me giggle out loud after I explain a few thing.

1. I am a dancer. I study dance at The University of Auckland.
2. My body is my tool of employment.
3. I don’t treat my body as a temple and I know I should.
4. I have a fast metabolism.
5. My idea of the “ideal body” image has changed.
6. As long as I am healthy then I am happy.

So scrolling through Facebook as I was, there I saw a girl who did my degree. She is fit, strong and happy with her body though she is working on it. (Hence her full body photo as progress shots). Now she was not anything close to my “ideal body”. She was beautiful though. What made me outwardly laugh though was that her body was what she needed for her lifestyle. This gal is active every single day. She eats her greens and she truly treats her body like a temple. She wasn’t thin. She was built, and good on her. I had a moment of realizing that my body wont ever look “ideal”. It honestly wont.

Why?

• My legs are powerful, they have muscles to do a job of taking me through the air.
• My arms have definition. Because they have to carry the weight of myself and someone else sometimes.
• My stomach isn’t dead flat. It doesn’t have abs though either. It is the power station of my control and stability.
• My lungs. Cardio. I have little of. I do not need it. It works its way to be as much as needed per show.
• My feet. Well they have a job to do and there is no point trying to make them pretty when I rip them up everyday.

I have a dancing body. It has a job. I work it to each show, job, contract. What happens between those times is up to my diet and how well my body recovers.

What I now have burnt into the backs of my eyelids is that “you only have one body make it last”. As I write this I am currently on the couch. Confided to this one place. On the 26th of January I did something to my back/nerve/leg/buggered myself. Went to the hospital-yes I did a good job. I have a week of work, two specialist appointments and another doctors appointments. The one thing keeping me from doing all the things; work, dance, run, workout. Is that if I do not take care of my body now I wont have a body to work with for the rest of my life. For a 20 year old, thats PRETTY BIG.

So whilst I sit here and type, think about your actions and if your body will last a life time. Re-think your ‘ideal body’. See what your lifestyle really requires you to look like.