The 5 Sex Lessons They Don’t Teach You In High School.

So the saga continues.

Lets get in it balls deep. (My jokes are in no way ever going to be funny. We already know this but I will write them out any way cause I am a sassy gal)

Picture theses situations:

1. Talking with a boy about sex. He says “so are you on the pill?” you say “no” and then there is this awkward tension because he hasn’t put two dots together and assumes that the pill is the only contraception. I HAVE HAD THIS SITUATION. Also had the awkward explaining that it (an IUD) looks like a fish hook but is inside me. IN NO TONE CAN YOU MAKE THIS SOUND APPEALING. If your man doesn’t know that there is other contraception out there other than the pill and a condom you should just highlight this moment. Possibly move him along.
2. If you are about to have sex and your man say “do I have to” in regards to wearing a condom. GET UP. Do not say a word and leave. Close the door and delete his number. Yall think I am joking really Im not. Also on this same point you should not have to ask for him to wear a condom. Because the situation of you staring at him and then his dick whilst he takes his 45 second break to do the one thing he HAS to do. Real romantic. There is no if’s or but’s round this one. Goes for both girls and guys.
3. You should be getting an STI check after every sexual partner. BOTH OF YOU. You should have a conversation about when you had one last and it should not be judgemental. It also gives you both peace of mind. If they have never had one, you should highly recommend that they do.
4. You should also have a conversation about what is okay and what isn’t in terms of in the bedroom or outside. You don’t know. This can be as straight forward as a checklist. (There is lots online) Or a game of 40 questions. Know your boundaries and others. You might discover that you both like something but are a little too shy to say.
5. Your sex life should also be private. No one wants to walk in on their significant other talking about your intimate details to other people you don’t know. “She loves it from behind.” *walks in, opens front door* “you can let yourself out.”

These are some of the situations in which you should take action or act upon. What I am trying to say is teach each other many things, maybe it is how to talk about sex or that their behaviour is unacceptable.

Next week we will continue on talking about this stunning topic of sex. Let me know if there is anything you really want me to address and write about. Short and sweet on your Friday night.

Living in Auckland?

What is it like to live in Auckland? I am here to answer your lifelong question. Its a Friday evening here and I am currently in my apartment. (I do leave this couch sometimes) and I could describe to you what going on. I can hear The Neighbourhood playing on pandora (thanks Conrad) and Jamie making dinner searching for a lid to the pot and a giant protest on Queen Street. I do not know what about but every other week there’s something. I can see my fluffy blanket on my lap and the tv playing in the background. However if I was to take you outside on any given day this experience would be different.

Though its meant to be getting cooler now, you know how the season change and its Autum, that doesn’t apply here in the tropics because Auckland has four seasons in a day. THIS IS NO JOKE. NOPE.

4 BLOODY SEASONS A DAY.

Example:

Wake up. Its raining.

Puts on rain coat to leave.

Get halfway to destination and its the Sahara desert. Sun blazing, sweating and possible sunburn.

Arrive at place. Now there is a skin cutting wind. You start to think you are see through because the wind is crazy.

Leave destination and head for home. Its not calm and sunny.

The out of know where. Hail. Yep, fucking hail. ICE BALLS FALLING TO THE GROUND.

Auckland. 4 season. The wrath of some god.

Some of you are thinking I might be exaggerating this. There is only one thing that is consistent in Auckland. The humidity. Currently 82%.

So minus the weather whats it like to live up here. Mate there is a pace. A pace of life where everything is always on the go. The city is always on the move. There is no down time. 11pm on the streets is just as busy as 3pm. Coffee is produced in 1 minute and service is on point.

The food you ask and I can tell you is amazing. My bank account will speak for the both of us. You could have anything you wanted. Thai, mexican, sliders, cajun, korean BBQ, pasta, dumplings. Anything, google and go.

The nightlife you say? Well. There will be a door charge and never buy a redbull and vodka in town. But the girls are on fire, and the man buns are now thank god few and far between. The music is ever changing. From Wednesday through to Sunday. There is always a place to go. Catch some of the biggest acts chilling in clubs and rub shoulders with some amazing down to earth people. Also boys like Moet. Yep.

What is it like to be classed as a JAFFA? Or in what I was nicknamed J.A.A (just another Aucklander). Meh, not that horrible nor amazing. I do understand though when I meet a born and raised Aucklander. Couldn’t explain it but can just tell. Sixth sense or something!

Cost of the city of Sails? Well its not cheap. Its not getting cheaper. Countdown metro is a pile of crap and New World metro is the most expensive supermarket in NZ! Rent is the same price if you live in the city like me or 20 minutes out. I live in a two bedroom apartment that is above Whitcoulls on Queen Street. Rent is $570 a week including water and that is cheap. There is also a housing crisis up here so its not fun finding places to live.

People think Auckland is a horrible place to live. Thats not the truth, you can’t decided that till you live here. I can guarantee you will never be bored.  If you ever need a place to stay, let me know!! I have a nice couch and another mattress.

From this J.A.A to you have an amazing night and come see me at some point!!!