All my friends are engaged, married or pregnant and I am over here trying to poach an egg.

For all of you who are not engaged, married, or pregnant. Trying to adult. You are not alone.

Just so you know, this isn’t my poached eggs. Stolen from the internet. Food porn.

So I rolled out of the hospital last week after three nights surrounded by 3 ladies drugged up just like me. I came home with discharge notes, medical certificate and a prescription. As soon as I got home I realised in my haste to get out of there (I don’t like hospitals) I had left my teddy there. Yes laugh, my teddy. His name is teddy and he has been with me since I was born. Knitted when I was still in the womb he means a lot to me. Jamie brought it up to me on day two of the hotel from hell to soothe me through morphine doses with a dash of tramadol. So I had to be an adult, ring the hospital and ask them to find my teddy.

Hospital 1, Seren 0.

Now I am 20… 21 is October. Young, sassy and still growing. I was scrolling through my Facebook when another one of my friends was now pregnant.

Thoughts?

1. No.
2. Yep.
3. 13 weeks.
4. January.
5. No drinking for you.
6. Do we have cider in the fridge still?
7. No alcohol for two weeks. Doctors notes.
8. A tiny human.
9. ALIEN.
10. Baby tracker is kinda gross.
11. Babies.
12. Why?
13. OH SHES ENGAGED TOO.
14. What?
15. When?
16. Scans Facebook profile.
17. TO HIM?
18. No.
19. Yep.
20. Wow.
21. We went to primary school together.
22. I thought I was on track.
23. What is life?
24. What am I doing?
25. Should I be worried?
26. Yes.
27. You are well behind.
28. I don’t want kids for a long time though.
29. I am 20.
30. Biological clock though?
31. IM TWENTY.
32. Lots of time.
33. 15 more years at least.
34. I still haven’t seen most of the Disney movies.
35. I am still a child.
36. No young adult.
37. I couldn’t handle a poop machine yet.
38. Adult, that I am.
39. I lost my teddy.
40. Not even close to taking care of another human.
41. I want a cat.
42. Yep.
43. Kitty.
44. Could I get a cat in my apartment.
45. No.
46. Random cat flap that goes out to nowhere just 6 floors down.
47. Right.
48. Okay.
49. F**k.

*scrolls newsfeed more*

1. ARE YOU F**KING SERIOUS.
2. YOU ARE MARRIED TOO?
3. YOU WERE JUST ENGAGED
4. THAT WAS A SHOCK.
5. Cute dress.
6. Only one photo for me to cry at?
7. Why?
8. You are my age and married.
9. Have you seen the world?
10. Who is he?
11. Oh yes.
12. He was with your friend for a while.
13. Never liked him.
14. Good luck.
15. No I am being sincere.
16. Adult Seren.
17. SH*T, GOD DAMMIT.
18. Why?
19. Where are you going?
20. What is your life plan?
21. Do I need to be engaged?
22. No.
23. HA.
24. No.
25. Thank you.
26. *Hisses at screen*
27. Should I save for a house?
28. I haven’t left NZ yet.
29. Need to finish my degree.
30. Oh lord.
31. I am not at uni next year.
32. Out and about.
33. LIVING.
34. Thats okay.
35. How do you adult.
36. I can do it.
37. I am doing it.
38. Eggs.
39. Poached.
40. How?
41. Googles how to….poach eggs.
42. Heck yeah I can do this.
43. Poaching like a boss.
44. TO THE KITCHEN AND BEYOND!

*quietly sings to self about not being married, engaged or pregnant. With a dash of freedom*

Just saying I can poach eggs. They were delicious. Two of them.

I have so many questions. Why is everyone engaged, married or up the duff? This is the new normal. There seems to be a wave of people I know who are advancing and ticking of the appropriate adult things. I mean my ex is now married to a girl 6 months older than me. When I found out he was engaged to be. I laughed and almost made a t-shirt saying “dodged a bullet”. Almost. But now he is apart of the normal and I am over here eating avocado and eggs on toast trying not to get it on my white shirt.

Truth of the matter is growing up so quickly freaks me the f**k out. Bills, food shopping, cleaning and maintaining the life I have with my significant other is stressful enough. Throw in University, work and the fact that our elevator is not working again makes me anxious. Just so you know, I now own a blazer, blouse and two sets of dress pants. TWO. I also have business cards. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM A 20 YEAR OLD?

The 5 Sex Lessons They Don’t Teach You In High School.

So the saga continues.

Lets get in it balls deep. (My jokes are in no way ever going to be funny. We already know this but I will write them out any way cause I am a sassy gal)

Picture theses situations:

1. Talking with a boy about sex. He says “so are you on the pill?” you say “no” and then there is this awkward tension because he hasn’t put two dots together and assumes that the pill is the only contraception. I HAVE HAD THIS SITUATION. Also had the awkward explaining that it (an IUD) looks like a fish hook but is inside me. IN NO TONE CAN YOU MAKE THIS SOUND APPEALING. If your man doesn’t know that there is other contraception out there other than the pill and a condom you should just highlight this moment. Possibly move him along.
2. If you are about to have sex and your man say “do I have to” in regards to wearing a condom. GET UP. Do not say a word and leave. Close the door and delete his number. Yall think I am joking really Im not. Also on this same point you should not have to ask for him to wear a condom. Because the situation of you staring at him and then his dick whilst he takes his 45 second break to do the one thing he HAS to do. Real romantic. There is no if’s or but’s round this one. Goes for both girls and guys.
3. You should be getting an STI check after every sexual partner. BOTH OF YOU. You should have a conversation about when you had one last and it should not be judgemental. It also gives you both peace of mind. If they have never had one, you should highly recommend that they do.
4. You should also have a conversation about what is okay and what isn’t in terms of in the bedroom or outside. You don’t know. This can be as straight forward as a checklist. (There is lots online) Or a game of 40 questions. Know your boundaries and others. You might discover that you both like something but are a little too shy to say.
5. Your sex life should also be private. No one wants to walk in on their significant other talking about your intimate details to other people you don’t know. “She loves it from behind.” *walks in, opens front door* “you can let yourself out.”

These are some of the situations in which you should take action or act upon. What I am trying to say is teach each other many things, maybe it is how to talk about sex or that their behaviour is unacceptable.

Next week we will continue on talking about this stunning topic of sex. Let me know if there is anything you really want me to address and write about. Short and sweet on your Friday night.

A love like this.

I have been asking lately what I should write my blog about and a lovely creature called Renee told me to write about Dance.

Like that thing in my life. That I am studying. Yaaaass that thing. That Big ‘O Topic.

I don’t know why I have never written about dancing. It has shaped every part of my life for the past three years. I guess I find it a very sacred and special topic for me and I don’t want to be shot down for talking about it.

Heres the thing. I love what I do. Honestly. I love it. Heart and soul. Outside skin to heart. All of me. Dancing, its the damn best thing. Now you may be a student who is studying science or law or social studies. Well Done. Good on you. The world needs people like you. The country needs people like you. I am not being rude or nasty but I am thankful you exist. You might be a mother who takes care of her children. Go you, you educated them everyday without knowing and have the best anger management that even money cannot buy. You might be a guy working in retail. Shout out to you. You have a calm exterior and know where everything is.

But I am a Dancer. Yes I am an artist too. I am an advocate. I am more than you could ever think of. What I ask of you is respect. Do what I have been taught to do in this society and to respect me for the job that I DO. I create art. And guess what I BLOODY LOVE IT. 

I am never going to call myself lucky. ‘Lucky to do what I do.’ I am brave. Yes brave. So do not shoot me down.

I work part time in the hospitality sector because study link doesn’t cover my rent or the food I eat. I have work part time for three years. I work part time whilst studying full time. Now the one thing I can tell you is that people like to talk and chat and give an opinion. Often I get asked what I do other than my job and I say ‘study’. This is how the conversation flows.

Customer: So what do you study?

Me: A Bachelor of Dance Studies at the University of Auckland.

C: Oh wow, what sort of dancing do you do?

M: Mostly contemporary.

C: Do you like it?

M: Absolutely. I love it. (Thinks in head, why else would I spend 20,000 on it??) 

C: You look like a dancer. So what do you actually do during the day? 

M: I don’t roll around on the floor all day. Its half practical. 

C: So where can you go with it all??

M: I could get my PhD if I wanted to but the industry needs me so I must go to them. So I might do that later. 

(I then leave to do my part time job which they think will be my full time job because its dance.)

What hurts the most about this conversation is the raised eyebrows when I drop the line of what I do. You know as someone who studies human movement staring into someones eyes with raised eyebrows when they tell you that they are achieving their dream hurts. Remember that.

So why am I writing this? I am here to answer some questions. By giving answers I am hoping to remove the stigmatisms.

Let us begin and dive into this stunning life I have.

What do I study?

• Contemporary technique (Stage 1,2,3)
• Kapa Haka and Theory
• Pacific Dance and Theory
• Dance Education
• Dance History and Context
• Kinesiology and Somatics
• Dance Choreography (Stage 1,2,3)
• Dance Writing
• Dance Interplidiscnary
• Stretch and Conditioning
• Community Dance
• Safe Dance Practice
• Psychology 109G
• Anthropology 106G
• Dance and Technology
• Professional Practices

I have missed a couple I am sure but these are paper I have taken and/or taking.

Every single paper has a written form to it. Whether it be a 2500 word essay, lesson plans, Pecha Kucha (shout of to Sarah Knox for those little devils), injury prevention plans. I write. We write. A lot. What people don’t understand is that dancers are pretty damn good at referencing. APA STYLE ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

What does a normal week consist of for me?

Well that depends.

First semester is normally pretty easy going.

Monday: 3 Hours. Two papers.    Tuesday: 2 hours. One paper.     Wednesday: 4 Hours, Two papers.       Thursday: 5 Hours. Three Papers.      Friday: 2 Hours. One paper.

16 Contact Hours. 8 Outside Hours.

____________________________________________

Second Semester 

Normally the same ish.

16 Contact hours but then theres is this.

Up to 40 hours of dancing. In class, rehearsal, making choreography, in the theater, between classes in corridors because there is not studios.

In second semester my average amount of sleep is 6 hours. 4 hours when we are close to shows.

What do I eat?

Mate. Everything. Different semesters require different diets. First semester is lots of brain food that is slow releasing. Nuts, grains, root veggies. Second semester is carbs. 60% of my diet is carbs. Carbs=Energy. Simple math. No food is the worst torture. Hiss and run away.

Why dance?

I was told by a lovely lady “do what you love, let that be your career.”. It made a lot of sense to me. So I applied to come to Auckland. Where I write to you today.

What’s your back up plan?

Rude to ask. I will always find something to do in this industry. I am apart of a family. Always creating jobs that didn’t exist two years ago. However if I couldn’t do what I loved due to something. Though where there is a will there is a way. I would become a paramedic.

What do you want to do after university? 

Well you might be one of my employers reading this. If so hello. Thank you for being here. And doing what you love too. But I want to create and share. BROAD. But details are for me to know.

What do your parents think of this?

They are incredibly proud. They have always known it would be something creative. They are supportive and since they were the first of their kind (COMPUTERS) I will be the first of my kind to make dance as normal as computers in our everyday lives.

What do you struggle with?

Ignorance. I would like to see you enjoy a world without dance. Without people who make it possible. My own thoughts of being a tall dancer. Always think I am taking way too much room. So I never feel I am dancing to my ‘full’. I am 6ft for your information.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Really I could talk about this all day. I mean I am going to talk about it all life long.

In reality I don’t keep company of those who do not understand what I do.

Its a love like this that is so intoxicating that it cannot be left alone. I keep sipping from this damn cup and I am not going to lie when I say its the best.

If you have any questions about what I do honestly I would love to hear them and help you get some more information. These are my few 1300 words. However this is my passion and career so lets chat and I might even show you a few moves.