The 5 Sex Lessons They Don’t Teach You In High School.

So the saga continues.

Lets get in it balls deep. (My jokes are in no way ever going to be funny. We already know this but I will write them out any way cause I am a sassy gal)

Picture theses situations:

1. Talking with a boy about sex. He says “so are you on the pill?” you say “no” and then there is this awkward tension because he hasn’t put two dots together and assumes that the pill is the only contraception. I HAVE HAD THIS SITUATION. Also had the awkward explaining that it (an IUD) looks like a fish hook but is inside me. IN NO TONE CAN YOU MAKE THIS SOUND APPEALING. If your man doesn’t know that there is other contraception out there other than the pill and a condom you should just highlight this moment. Possibly move him along.
2. If you are about to have sex and your man say “do I have to” in regards to wearing a condom. GET UP. Do not say a word and leave. Close the door and delete his number. Yall think I am joking really Im not. Also on this same point you should not have to ask for him to wear a condom. Because the situation of you staring at him and then his dick whilst he takes his 45 second break to do the one thing he HAS to do. Real romantic. There is no if’s or but’s round this one. Goes for both girls and guys.
3. You should be getting an STI check after every sexual partner. BOTH OF YOU. You should have a conversation about when you had one last and it should not be judgemental. It also gives you both peace of mind. If they have never had one, you should highly recommend that they do.
4. You should also have a conversation about what is okay and what isn’t in terms of in the bedroom or outside. You don’t know. This can be as straight forward as a checklist. (There is lots online) Or a game of 40 questions. Know your boundaries and others. You might discover that you both like something but are a little too shy to say.
5. Your sex life should also be private. No one wants to walk in on their significant other talking about your intimate details to other people you don’t know. “She loves it from behind.” *walks in, opens front door* “you can let yourself out.”

These are some of the situations in which you should take action or act upon. What I am trying to say is teach each other many things, maybe it is how to talk about sex or that their behaviour is unacceptable.

Next week we will continue on talking about this stunning topic of sex. Let me know if there is anything you really want me to address and write about. Short and sweet on your Friday night.

Misleading Daydreaming

So for once Auckland was slightly less warm than usual. Which meant to my flat “The Hot Box” being less hot and all activities being less painful and a lot less sticky. So I was sitting on the bus that was slowing chilling me from the outside in. So for once I was able to day dream and not think about how hot I was. Now I am huge on day dreaming. Could do it all day if it was needed. I mean I even did a choreographic piece on day dreaming. You see I was thinking about how only a select few say thank you to the bus driver when they hop off. So this is how my day dream went, stay with me okay?

Saying thank you to a bus driver

Being thankful.

And thats where it stopped. Long right? I then started to gather all the weird things I am thankful for.

• Polite neighbours with adorable children.
• Headphones.
• Cold weather.
• Cookies and cream ice cream.
• Flat mates who make me laugh.
• Physiotherapy.
• Good banter.
• Swimming in rivers.

Its only fair that I say these are only a few. I suppose that I was thinking about very random things and slightly concentrating on the fact that my physiotherapist had just stuck needles in my butt because thats how you fix a broken Seren.

So I finally made it to the CBD and as I hopped off the bus I said thank you to my bus driver and walked to my apartment entrance. I then thought about how much my life has changed since I first moved away from Nelson (my home town). I thought about how I could never move back for good. Not right now. That I had grown too big for that tiny town. I guess I am thankful I grew up there and now I see the appeal of raising a family there. But thats a long way off. About 10 years.

So be thankful is what I guess I am trying to say. For the weird things. Or at least go and have a day dream.

Will it last you a life time?

The Human Body

I went looking for an ideal body to work towards. I scrolled through Tumblr, Instagram and a few other places and as I was scrolling I thought to myself that these girls were stunning, truly they had worked for their bodies. Now I know that I have a good body but what girl doesn’t want to be a goddess. When I was naively looking I wasn’t searching for envy or “thin-spriation” just some motivation and what I feel I could get.

I got bored and rolled through my news feed and what I saw made me laugh to myself. We will get back to why this made me giggle out loud after I explain a few thing.

1. I am a dancer. I study dance at The University of Auckland.
2. My body is my tool of employment.
3. I don’t treat my body as a temple and I know I should.
4. I have a fast metabolism.
5. My idea of the “ideal body” image has changed.
6. As long as I am healthy then I am happy.

So scrolling through Facebook as I was, there I saw a girl who did my degree. She is fit, strong and happy with her body though she is working on it. (Hence her full body photo as progress shots). Now she was not anything close to my “ideal body”. She was beautiful though. What made me outwardly laugh though was that her body was what she needed for her lifestyle. This gal is active every single day. She eats her greens and she truly treats her body like a temple. She wasn’t thin. She was built, and good on her. I had a moment of realizing that my body wont ever look “ideal”. It honestly wont.

Why?

• My legs are powerful, they have muscles to do a job of taking me through the air.
• My arms have definition. Because they have to carry the weight of myself and someone else sometimes.
• My stomach isn’t dead flat. It doesn’t have abs though either. It is the power station of my control and stability.
• My lungs. Cardio. I have little of. I do not need it. It works its way to be as much as needed per show.
• My feet. Well they have a job to do and there is no point trying to make them pretty when I rip them up everyday.

I have a dancing body. It has a job. I work it to each show, job, contract. What happens between those times is up to my diet and how well my body recovers.

What I now have burnt into the backs of my eyelids is that “you only have one body make it last”. As I write this I am currently on the couch. Confided to this one place. On the 26th of January I did something to my back/nerve/leg/buggered myself. Went to the hospital-yes I did a good job. I have a week of work, two specialist appointments and another doctors appointments. The one thing keeping me from doing all the things; work, dance, run, workout. Is that if I do not take care of my body now I wont have a body to work with for the rest of my life. For a 20 year old, thats PRETTY BIG.

So whilst I sit here and type, think about your actions and if your body will last a life time. Re-think your ‘ideal body’. See what your lifestyle really requires you to look like.

5 things every girl living in the city should be able to do.

Mastering city life can be a little tricky but if you can do these 5 things, then congratulations on being a well established gal.

1.   Be able to go for lunch by herself and not feel embarrassed.  I think that there is nothing sweeter than watching a girl sit in a cafe and just be herself whilst having a coffee and a bagel.
2.  Baking. Straight and simple baking. Coming from a girl from a small town. Filling an apartment full of the smell of brownies. Nothing can compare and make one feel more at home.
3. Your “other hand” nails. I’m right handed and mastering painting my left hand has been one of the greatest challenges.
4. Know when to be delicate and when to be a bad ass. If someone bumps into you on the main street is no reason to cry however if your room mates have not cleaned their dishes in 3 weeks that when you put your foot down. Your not a animal.
5. To live independently from family and friends. No financial help. No constant checking up. No google. To know the answer to a problem without having to ask for help.